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I'm gonna stay 18 forever
So we can stay like this forever
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Wednesday, September 08, 2004
we bottled and shelved, all our regrets, let them ferment and came back to our senses
Listenin to: Costello - Straylight Run (THANKS BRANDON!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE MY #1 HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Feelin: pretty tired.... pretty drained... but all around pretty good
Two Weeks later and here I need with the undying need to write again. But this time I am not horribley saddened by homesickness (though i still miss my family), but rather how uncontrollabley pensive I am. I will try to make this short. hehehehehe.
So times are much better since i last updated i suppose. I've met alot of awesome new people, and hopefully more to come. Its finally coming down to where its more than just petty talk... which i suck at and I hate. Some of my old friendships are growing even stronger as well, such as my bond with cristen kern or with alex.
English blows. Its actually an excellent class its just really really hard. The rest of my classes are so far pretty decently easy, if not a breeze.
My time is consumed with late night trips to ihops, figuring out my life with cristen, running into old friends, keeping in touch with other ones, doing my homework, sleeping, and laughing uncontrollabley.
I went home this weekend and got to "squeeze everyone's eyeballs out" (as bridget eloquently puts it). I spent a goot 10 hours total this weekend reminiscing old childhood memories with my neighbor lauren whom i grew up with. Stories of our adventures in the empty condos in los conchos at rockypoint when we were 6, or getting lost in the woods in the rain during a camping trip, or them knocking on my window at 6 in the morning to make me come play barbies on lauren's front rocks... i have so many memories with this girl. We talked about how we both realize we had the best childhood's a person can ask for, and unlike most people- we realize it. I don't look back on my childhood and how amazing it was as think, damn, i should have soaked it up while i could have. I knew it was amazing while i lived it... and that is why i am so stuck and scared to grow up. Its scary to go from something awesome that you know to something entirely unpredictable, chaotic, and unexplored. Granted, my childhood has some problems - some serious stuff that im obviously not going to dive into on this thing, and alot of stuff not many people, if any outsiders, actually know. However, they were merely rough patches. I had the best growing up experience one person could ever ask for... and i refuse to let it go.
Garden State is the best movie in the world. See it. Yes, its cliche... but i think it changed my life. It really did give me a new perspective on things. Most definately one of my favorite movies of all time now.
We're having a toga party this weekend at ashlyns I think. That is, if jordan slat and i plan it. Kickass.
I wish what we used to have. I still think of you everyday and wish that i didn't. I dont want to sleep because I know I'll dream of you, I know I'll love it. I want to wash out every word you ever spoke to me so your voice isn't running through my veins. Cristren and I decided I need to make you dead to me. Which, I suppose you have been all along... I just never realized it until now.
Go on and say it
You need me like a bad habit,
Morgan Rose
ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
you want it, you want it all
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